Fall apart and start again

Number of posts : 1363 Age : 44 Registration date : 2007-06-25

Gabe turned around. "I'm fine. I'm fine..." He was unsure whether it was his feelings or his pride taking over. He didn't like acting like an idiot, especially not in front of his boyfriend. But I haven't got much of a choice. I just hope I'll make it out in one piece.

Subject: Re: Fall apart and start again Tue Sep 18, 2007 1:36 am

"Hey," William said, taking Gabe's chin between his fingers. "Look at me. Tell me what's going on."

Number of posts : 1363 Age : 44 Registration date : 2007-06-25

"You told me you weren't happy with me." And Gabe mentally punched and kicked himself. "You said everyone left you, and that you were sad. So you said you were leaving me. Because you were unhappy." He looked away and wiped his nose with the back of his hand. "So maybe it'd be better if we called if off after all. You probably won't want to now, but you obviously will later on. So maybe it's better this way, so no one gets... too hurt."

Subject: Re: Fall apart and start again Tue Sep 18, 2007 1:47 am

William frowned. "What? I never, ever said that. Where did you get all that?" He crossed his arms. "Look, if it's just a pretext to ditch me..."

Number of posts : 1363 Age : 44 Registration date : 2007-06-25

"WHILE YOU WERE SLEEPING. Goddammit." He sniffled. "It's not a fucking pretext. I heard you. You said so clearly." Great. Now he's angry with me. Brilliant. Gabe let himself fall against the tree and slid back down to the ground.

Subject: Re: Fall apart and start again Tue Sep 18, 2007 1:53 am

"Gabe, I was sleeping. It's complete bullshit. I don't remember, but I must have been dreaming. I hope you realize how absurd this is." He sighed. "Now open your arms, you big idiot, so I can cuddle with you."

Number of posts : 1363 Age : 44 Registration date : 2007-06-25

Gabe sighed. "But you seemed so desperate. What if... what if it really happens? You won't be happy with just me. You need your friends more than anything else." It wasn't absurd when I was hearing it. He looked away.

Subject: Re: Fall apart and start again Tue Sep 18, 2007 2:02 am

"Well, you're my friend, for a start." William didn't wait - he moved closer to the man, between his arms. "Even if it really happens - forever's a big word. Happiness won't last forever. But right now I'm happier than I've ever been, and that's enough for me. Can we just appreciate what we've got and worry about the rest later?"

Number of posts : 1363 Age : 44 Registration date : 2007-06-25

I'm going to sound like a selfish jerk. "But... it'll only hurt more later," he said in a small voice. Gabe held back a nervous sob. "I'm supposed to just sit back, relax and wait 'til you finally decide it's time for you to leave?" He averted his eyes from any possible stare.

Subject: Re: Fall apart and start again Tue Sep 18, 2007 2:11 am

William gently rubbed the man's cheek. "I never said I'd leave. That's only what you think." He swallowed. "If you decided to leave, I'd still think the times we spent together were worth it. You'd rather have nothing because you're scared of being hurt in the end?"

Number of posts : 1363 Age : 44 Registration date : 2007-06-25

Gabe's cheeks flushed. "Well," he started. "I don't know. I was making you unhappy. And I don't want that." He swallowed. "Maybe you... maybe you just shouldn't be wasting your time with me if it'll make you unhappy in the end. Maybe you should just try to find someone better now."

Subject: Re: Fall apart and start again Tue Sep 18, 2007 7:21 pm

William shrugged. "Like someone who isn't a coward?" He frowned. "Look, Gabe. You're already my 'someone better'. What you heard was part of a dream, nonsense. I can't be unhappy with you."

Number of posts : 1363 Age : 44 Registration date : 2007-06-25

Gabe stood up. "I'm not a coward! It was a dream, sure. But it might be what you're feeling deep down. I don't know." He turned around. "You took my dreams pretty seriously, last I recall."

Subject: Re: Fall apart and start again Tue Sep 18, 2007 7:40 pm

"I can tell you it's not what I'm feeling." He straightened his back and stared at Gabe. "And besides, you were the one who was angry because I tried to analyze your dreams. But in the end I believed you. Can't you do the same?"

Number of posts : 1363 Age : 44 Registration date : 2007-06-25

But I know I wasn't dreaming of an unhappy future. He smiled in resignation and turned around. "Okay baby," he said. "I'm sorry I acted like a jerk. I'll stick with you whatever you mumble in your sleep. I promise."

Subject: Re: Fall apart and start again Tue Sep 18, 2007 8:11 pm

"Baby?" William repeated, grinning. "I like that." He reached for Gabe's hand, wrapping his fingers around the man's wrist. "I promise I won't mumble stupid things in my sleep again."

Number of posts : 1363 Age : 44 Registration date : 2007-06-25

Gabe grinned. "May as well use my foolish attitude to my advantage," he said as he gently pulled William closer. We'll see once we get back. We're not even off here yet. Gabe wondered if he would really cause William to lose all of his friends; he couldn't keep the thought out of his head.

Subject: Re: Fall apart and start again Tue Sep 18, 2007 8:32 pm

William noticed Gabe wasn't completely comfortable yet, but he pretended he hadn't. He wrapped his arms around the man, glad he wouldn't push him away this time. "I love you, 'tard."

Number of posts : 1363 Age : 44 Registration date : 2007-06-25

"Hey," Gabe said. "Do - me - look - like - a - re - tard?" He made a goofy face; his left arm wrapped itself around William's waist, the right one staying limp to his side.

Subject: Re: Fall apart and start again Tue Sep 18, 2007 8:38 pm

"Yes." William chukled, and pecked the tip of Gabe's nose. "But even if you don't have the brains, you got the looks."

Number of posts : 1363 Age : 44 Registration date : 2007-06-25

Gabe sighed dramatically. "Yet another one who wants me for my body. Oh, the emptniness of it all." He brought a hand to his forehead and closed his eyes. "I fear I can't look at you anymore, Billiam." He giggled.

Subject: Re: Fall apart and start again Tue Sep 18, 2007 8:45 pm

William grinned. "You don't have to." He placed his hands over Gabe's eyes and kissed him.

Number of posts : 1363 Age : 44 Registration date : 2007-06-25

Gabe smiled and kissed back. His right hand lay on William's over his eyes; his left tug the singer's waist to bring him closer.

Subject: Re: Fall apart and start again Tue Sep 18, 2007 8:52 pm

William moved his hand away when Gabe's fluttering eyelashes made him shiver. He moved it to the back of the man's head, still kissing him.

Number of posts : 1363 Age : 44 Registration date : 2007-06-25

Keeping his eyes shut, Gabe's lips formed into a smile as he discreetly slid his tongue between their lips. He took a small staggering step closer.

» Fall is coming.