Here comes the rain again

Number of posts : 1592 Age : 36 Registration date : 2007-07-13

[I guess maybe Catherine is eating? Mwahaha orderscrew.]

I'm invisible. Please don't look at me. I'm not here. I don't matter. Sisky hugged his knees tighter.

Number of posts : 525 Age : 44 Registration date : 2007-06-28

Getting bored with glaring at Gabe, Pete noticed Sisky trmbling out of the corner of his eye. He knew it was the wrong thing to do, but he wanted to comfort Sisky. He probably wouldn't take the help, but it was worth trying.

"Hey Sisky, come over here," he whispered, his throat still burning.

Number of posts : 1592 Age : 36 Registration date : 2007-07-13

Sisky's head snapped up and he stared at Pete in horror. He moved closer to the older man but not close enough to be touched. "W-what do you want?"

Subject: Re: Here comes the rain again Tue Jul 24, 2007 9:51 pm

William tried to keep his attention focused on Gabe, but his eyes wandered back to Sisky. Maybe it wasn't exactly the right behavior to adopt; he was still very protective of the younger man.

Number of posts : 1363 Age : 44 Registration date : 2007-06-25

Gabe looked at William eyeing Sisky. he then noticed how tense the youngest man looked. Gabe himself wasn't exactly keen with him, but he'd never do anything to hurt him. He had lost it once, and was intent of keeping controle over himself.
As much as he was unnerved by the situation, Gabe couldn't repress a small "Just don't get near him". Or you'll end up fucking each other, he wanted to add, but refrained.

Subject: Re: Here comes the rain again Tue Jul 24, 2007 10:07 pm

William was relieved to see not that much tension between Gabe and Sisky. Or, at least, nothing spoken. He almost wanted to thank Gabe for it. "Gabe? Would you mind if I said a word to you in private?"

Number of posts : 1363 Age : 44 Registration date : 2007-06-25

Gabe was startled out of his thoughts. "Uh - sure. Sure" he huskily answered.

Subject: Re: Here comes the rain again Tue Jul 24, 2007 10:18 pm

William got up and walked up to Gabe. He forced the man to turn around so he could keep an eye on the other boys.

"I've thought about this for while and...well, I want to prove my sincerity when I say I love you. I know you told me to wait, but I just wanted to make a proposition." He took a deep breath. His cheeks were horribly hot. "Remember when you told me you didn't date dudes? I wanted to know if maybe, eventually, once I'm done waiting, you'd...consider making an exception for me? It's not the right time to ask this, but you and I, we were never...you know...something defined, if you know what I mean. So yeah. That's what I wanted to say. Will you think about it, just a little?"

Number of posts : 1363 Age : 44 Registration date : 2007-06-25

Gabe wasn't sure he understood. "Are you saying... I mean-" I thought you told everyone about us. Pete didn't call me your boyfriend for no reason. "I'm not sure what you're saying, Will. I'm sorry I'm making you repeat, but I'm not..." Goddammit, Gabe. Why can't you just lighten up? That thought was familiar. "Are you asking me if I told anybody I was your boyfriend? 'cuz haven't, if that's what you're worried about..." he rambled on.

Subject: Re: Here comes the rain again Tue Jul 24, 2007 10:32 pm

William sighed. Did I just go through this for nothing? He decided to rephrase everything. "Gabe, you explicitely told me you didn't go out with guys. What I'm saying is, I don't give a shit. I want to date you. I want us to be official boyfriends. There." His cheeks went back to red again. "Hey, you know what? Forget it, no big deal. You don't want to and it's alright. I totally respect that."

Number of posts : 1363 Age : 44 Registration date : 2007-06-25

Gabe sighed. "Seriously, it was never my intention to date any guy. But surely by now you'd have seen that it might be different with you." Fuck, William. What am I supposed to say? You barely leave me time to answer. "I'm..." It was hard. "...I'm not ready yet" he finally said. "You told me you loved me before, Will. And that you loved Tom. But now, instead of discovering you slept with Tom, I discover you slept with Sisky. And Pete right after that." His face twitched. "I still need time. To think a bit. Maybe it's not always the best thing to rush into everything. Surely you've learned that by now?" He looked up at William, his eyes unsure.

Number of posts : 1592 Age : 36 Registration date : 2007-07-13

Sisky moved away from Pete since it seemed the injured man wasn't going to say anything after all.

He shivered. Don't try talking to me again. I'm not here.

Subject: Re: Here comes the rain again Tue Jul 24, 2007 10:51 pm

"I'm sorry, I...didn't mean to rush you or anything. Really, it's fine. Take all the time you need. Just know it's still going to be an option." What are we supposed to do? Be in one of those 'breaks' from relationships? Pretend we're only friends? Avoid eachother? Or am I just supposed to let you see other people while I behave like a good boyfriend - which I can't even be? He smiled to hide his doubts. "Whatever."

Number of posts : 1363 Age : 44 Registration date : 2007-06-25

Gabe sniffled. Aside from the obvious tense ambience, the temperature kept growing colder. And Gabe felt a chill come over him.
"No. Not whatever, Will. Either you mean this, or you don't. I'm fucking tired of always being unsure of what you're saying or doing. I told you before, but I'm not sure you got me clear." He swallowed with difficulty. "I said earlier" he started "That you could back away. I was being serious. I'd rather you tell me now if you won't be able to hang on. But tell me now, don't pretend you'll be there if you won't." And if you decide to let go, don't say who you've preferred over me. This was getting out of hand.

Number of posts : 525 Age : 44 Registration date : 2007-06-28

Pete looked back over at Sisky. He had momentarily forgotten his regquest for the younger man. He had become involved with listening to Gabe and William conversing. "Wait, come back Sisky." He hoped that he would come back over, because he needed to talk to him. Pete wanted to try and comfort him.

Number of posts : 1592 Age : 36 Registration date : 2007-07-13

Sisky moved back to his place close to Pete but not too close with a quick glance over his shoulder to see where William was and another look to the side to see if Michael was paying attention. The Australian seemed to be dozing off. Well hopefully he'll wake up if I scream.

"What is it, Pete?"

Subject: Re: Here comes the rain again Tue Jul 24, 2007 11:15 pm

"I have no intention to back away, Gabe. I'll be there. I know what this means and I'll wait the time you want. I just...I just need to know what you're waiting for. I'm afraid you'll wake up one morning and realize that you don't want me at all. It wouldn't change my feelings toward you, but I want to know what to expect." I would wait for nothing if that could make you happy. I fucking would. But I want to know.

Number of posts : 1363 Age : 44 Registration date : 2007-06-25

Gabe's skin was cold from the breeze. He tried to keep a straight face. "I'm not waiting for anything... I just don't feel ready to rush into anything with you anymore. Because you've proven to me that rushing makes you believe things that aren't always there." He looked at William's hair; it flew sideways. "I can't tell you what to expect. I don't know myself. That's why I need some time." He took William's hand. "I can't say I'm not mad. Or hurt. I'm gonna try and work on that, okay?" Did I answer sufficiently? He held William's hand while looking at him. It's so hard to believe you actually could have done what you say you did so easily.

Number of posts : 525 Age : 44 Registration date : 2007-06-28

"What's wrong? I mean, why are you shaking? I didn't get the full story here." Pete spoke with nothing more than concern. He was actually beginning to worry about Sisky. And he wanted to earn back the bassist's trust.

Number of posts : 1592 Age : 36 Registration date : 2007-07-13

Sisky spoke quietly because he couldn't seem to muster enough strength to say much. "I'm an idiot, and I lost him." I doubt you could rape me like this. It shouldn't be too dangerous to move a little closer. Sisky inched a little closer to Pete cautiously.

Subject: Re: Here comes the rain again Tue Jul 24, 2007 11:37 pm

"So that means I might be losing you for good through this, right?" I should have seen that possibility sooner. I don't want to be away from him. "But it's worth it. I mean, call me naive, but I believe in that tiny chance of you trusting me again. I'll do everything to make it work." I'm so sorry and I know I wouldn't deserve it. William didn't want to ever let go of Gabe's hand.

Number of posts : 1363 Age : 44 Registration date : 2007-06-25

Gabe kept clinging on William's hand. "I'm not sure what you think I think of you" he said "But I know you're not a mindless git. You knew what you were doing when you..." His voice trailed off. "I-I... still love you" he managed to add. I just feel like you don't acknowledge that. As if it's a random fact that could be tossed away when it's convenient to do so. "I just feel like, somehow, somewhere, something went wrong." It's me, or it's you. But somewhere along the line, something messed up. And I need to figure out what.

Number of posts : 525 Age : 44 Registration date : 2007-06-28

Pete was glad to see that Sisky was at least trusting him enough to scoot a little closer. "Who did you lose? What happened?" Pete was still confused. Not much of this whole island situation made sense. Come to think of it, none of it really did.

Number of posts : 1592 Age : 36 Registration date : 2007-07-13

Sisky sighed and smiled slightly, "It doesn't matter anyways." He watched Pete warily.

You better wake up if I scream, Aussie. I don't want William to have to look after me when he's got his own problems.

Subject: Re: Here comes the rain again Tue Jul 24, 2007 11:58 pm

It's my fault if it went wrong. I know what went wrong. And once you find that out, you won't want me back. "I understand." He shook Gabe's hand off. "I don't want to be in this if you think there's something wrong with us." William despised the use of the term 'us' in that situation, but said it anyway. "You think. I wait. And eventually we'll come to an agreement on this." Hopefully it'll involve us being together again.