When Innocence is Your Only Shame

Admin Number of posts : 3252 Age : 39 Registration date : 2007-06-21

William moved his feet that was, indeed, fixed. "Uhm, yeah. Thank you."

Number of posts : 1888 Age : 40 Registration date : 2007-06-25

Tom grunted and stood up, wiping his hand on his jeans. He turned away and began to walk further up the mountain.

Admin Number of posts : 3252 Age : 39 Registration date : 2007-06-21

William sighed and got up, following Tom.
"What are you doing?"

Number of posts : 1888 Age : 40 Registration date : 2007-06-25

"Walking." Tom rolled his eyes.

Admin Number of posts : 3252 Age : 39 Registration date : 2007-06-21

"Where to? I'm not leaving you alone." He accelerated his pace until they were walking next to eachother.

Number of posts : 1888 Age : 40 Registration date : 2007-06-25

"Why don't you go back to your little buddies in the jungle?" Tom sent him a scathing look and accelerated.

Admin Number of posts : 3252 Age : 39 Registration date : 2007-06-21

William followed. "Listen - I don't know what you're thinking, but I swear I never lied to you."

Number of posts : 1888 Age : 40 Registration date : 2007-06-25

"What is there between you and Gabe?" He turned angrily on William. "Huh? Answer me!"

Admin Number of posts : 3252 Age : 39 Registration date : 2007-06-21

William looked into Tom's eyes. "I'm in love with Gabe."

Number of posts : 1888 Age : 40 Registration date : 2007-06-25

"I know." Tom said, no emotion on his face or in his voice. "Go back to him."

Admin Number of posts : 3252 Age : 39 Registration date : 2007-06-21

William bit his lip, knowing his reply would sound horribly childish. "But I love you too."

Number of posts : 1888 Age : 40 Registration date : 2007-06-25

"Go back to him." Tom's face softened. "You deserve him more."

Admin Number of posts : 3252 Age : 39 Registration date : 2007-06-21

"You're not going to tell me what I have to do. I love you, and I want to be with you. I'm staying until you understand that."

Number of posts : 1888 Age : 40 Registration date : 2007-06-25

"So you'd rather be with a guy that owns a gun, takes medication - no, correction, is supposed to take medication, than someone who clearly adores you." Tom shook his head. "People like me don't have 'lovers', William. We just... drift."

Admin Number of posts : 3252 Age : 39 Registration date : 2007-06-21

"It's not that easy. I don't know who I'd rather be with. I know it's an awful thing to say, but I can't hide it. I know I want to be with you, and I know I want to be with him. I know I can't have both. If I'm not worth your time, if you just don't want me, say it now. Say you don't love me and I won't bother you again. We can stay friends or you can get rid of me for good. But please, Tom, tell me what you want."

Number of posts : 1888 Age : 40 Registration date : 2007-06-25

Tom closed his eyes. "I do like you." He slowly collected his thoughts. "But there's no way we could be together. We... I've seen what I do to people. You... no offence, but you wouldn't be able to control me. And... I can't do that."

Admin Number of posts : 3252 Age : 39 Registration date : 2007-06-21

I was willing to try and learn and do everything I could. You know it.
"So you're asking me to leave? That's your final word?" He said it softly, judging he had done enough harm.

Number of posts : 1888 Age : 40 Registration date : 2007-06-25

"It may seem harsh right now, but it's what's best for everyone." Tom said softly, a tender look in his eyes. "I... You and Gabe are perfect for each other."

Admin Number of posts : 3252 Age : 39 Registration date : 2007-06-21

William nodded. He kissed Tom's lips lovingly, and smiled. "You're perfect to me."

If I hadn't falllen for Gabe, Tom wouldn't be alone.

He turned around and started walking down the mountain, this time carefully looking at the rocks he was stepping on.

Number of posts : 1888 Age : 40 Registration date : 2007-06-25

Tears in his eyes, Tom kept walking. Even as they spilled, he didn't look back. He didn't dare think of what he might do. His hands shook. He kept walking.

Admin Number of posts : 3252 Age : 39 Registration date : 2007-06-21

William stopped walking and sat down on a mossy rock. He was about to cry; his vision was already blurry. If he kept on walking, he'd probably have another accident, and no one would help him this time. He didn't look at Tom, but knew he had walked away as well.

"Because of me he's alone," he whispered to himself. If I had lied just once, if I had forgotten about Gabe, if I had vowed to stay with him, he wouldn't be alone.

Number of posts : 1888 Age : 40 Registration date : 2007-06-25

Tom slowly turned his head back, his face a mask of tears. He saw William sitting there and shook his head, wiping his face before continuing. Sobs escaped his lips.

Admin Number of posts : 3252 Age : 39 Registration date : 2007-06-21

William quickly wiped his tears as they ran down his cheeks. He couldn't help it, but he tried to fight it.

I deceived Michael. He wanted me to take care of Tom for him and I couldn't do it, the same way I had him leave the band to protect him and failed.

"You always love someone more once they've left," he said out loud. "It's fucked."

Number of posts : 1888 Age : 40 Registration date : 2007-06-25

Tom heard William's words and sat down, hiding his head. He sobbed quietly, shoulders shaking.

Admin Number of posts : 3252 Age : 39 Registration date : 2007-06-21

William silently stood up again, judging that he'd be able to go on, and kept walking.

"I never stopped loving him, I don't know what makes me think I could now." But Gabe doesn't have to know.