Me neither.

Subject: Re: Me neither. Fri Sep 07, 2007 9:15 pm

Gabe turned his head to William. His face had dried up a bit, but his hair stuck to his forehead, remnant of the sweat. "I've made a terrible mistake," he said in a serious voice.

Subject: Re: Me neither. Fri Sep 07, 2007 9:18 pm

William held his breath, his body stiff. "What?"

Subject: Re: Me neither. Fri Sep 07, 2007 9:22 pm

Gabe slowly got up from over William. He looked around for his black briefs and snatched them quickly, tugging them on. "This is wrong," he said as he reached out for his jeans, slightly backing away.

Subject: Re: Me neither. Fri Sep 07, 2007 9:24 pm

"What?" William repeated louder, incredulous. "What the fuck, Gabe? What do you mean?" Breathing suddenly appeared to be a very difficult task. He sat up and watched the man.

Subject: Re: Me neither. Fri Sep 07, 2007 9:28 pm

"This," he said. "Us. I'm sorry." And he slid his other leg into his jeans. "I don't know why I did all of this." He buttoned his jeans. "Something's wrong," he said in a husky voice.

Subject: Re: Me neither. Fri Sep 07, 2007 9:32 pm

"What?" William finally yelled, getting on his feet. He grasped the man's arm. "Okay, wait...wait a second, Gabe. You really don't have to say you love me, alright? Or even show it for that matter. And we can just forget the sex if you think it's bad." He lowered his hand to take the man's . "Please. What did I do wrong?"

Subject: Re: Me neither. Fri Sep 07, 2007 9:36 pm

Gabe flung his hand out of William's grasp. "It's not you," he said. "You didn't do anything wrong. I just didn't get it until now." He looked around, his eyes scurrying the woods. "I need to go."

Subject: Re: Me neither. Fri Sep 07, 2007 9:39 pm

"I-I'll let you go," William said, pained to have to lie. "But at least have the decency to tell me what's wrong with us." He didn't attempt to take Gabe's hand again. He simply stood there, naked and vulnerable, waiting for an answer.

Subject: Re: Me neither. Fri Sep 07, 2007 9:46 pm

Gabe's eyes wandered around again. "I-I have to go," he repeated. And he turned around, took a few steps, and looked back. "I'm sorry," he said. "You'd better just forget about me."

Subject: Re: Me neither. Fri Sep 07, 2007 9:53 pm

"No!" William squeaked at once, his eyes filling up with tears. He reached for Gabe's arm again, refusing to let go. "What about everything you told me? What about the way you felt? Don't tell me it meant nothing!" He violently tugged the man's arm down. "You're making a mistake, Gabe! Please, don't do this! I won't tell anyone. Not about this, not about us. Just stay."

Subject: Re: Me neither. Fri Sep 07, 2007 10:00 pm

Gabe's eyes had widened at William's reaction. "I-I'm not..." I'm running away. "I can't," he said, with a pale face. He shook his head and tried to wiggle his arm free. "I'm sorry, I can't... I can't do this. I thought I could, but I can't." He fidgeted.

Subject: Re: Me neither. Fri Sep 07, 2007 10:06 pm

William withdrew his hand, only to make it into a fist and punch Gabe's stomach. "I hate you! I hate you!" he screamed. The more he screamed, the less he felt like crying - he kept on screaming. "This is worse than what Pete did! This is worse than rape! You fucking lied to me when I loved you!" He sunk to his knees, his throat dry. "What's so fun about hurting me, Gabe? I don't get it." I believed you.

Subject: Re: Me neither. Fri Sep 07, 2007 10:15 pm

Gabe took a step back and stuttered. "I-I... I'm sorry. I know I'm a prick. I've always been that way. I..." He watched William with a worried eye, clutching his sore stomach. "... you deserve more than me. I'm just... Gabe. Just Gabe." And he started backing away slowly, as if unable to move his head.

Subject: Re: Me neither. Fri Sep 07, 2007 10:24 pm

William looked up at Gabe, tears running down his pink cheeks. "You know what's funny about that? You'll find someone else and you won't give a shit whether they deserve just Gabe or not." He bit his lip. "Pete was right in the end. You didn't want me back. I thought you'd have enough consideration not to fuck around with me if you had intended to leave, but you didn't. And now I'm even more of a whore for sleeping with you." He hid his face in his hands, sobbing loudly and whimpering.

Subject: Re: Me neither. Fri Sep 07, 2007 10:35 pm

Panic slurred over him; Gabe took one final step. "I-I'm not gonna sleep with other guys, if that's what you're worried about," he said in a shaky voice. "I don't think I'll be sleeping around for a while." And he turned towards the woods and ran into them as deep as he could. He never managed to look back.

Subject: Re: Me neither. Fri Sep 07, 2007 10:42 pm

William screamed - nothing coherent; just a desperate agressive scream he had needed to let out. He slid his hands over his head and hid his face against his knees, curled up on the ground. He used me and he left me. Like everyone else. The whole situation brought back memories of his first love experiences, doing sexual favors for straight boys who wouldn't keep their promises. He shook, unable to move, and counted the seconds in his head. He can't leave me. He's going to come back. He'll run back to me and apologize. I just need to wait a little longer.

Subject: Re: Me neither. Fri Sep 07, 2007 10:52 pm

When Gabe had reached a point where he could run no more, he stopped and bent down his hands on his knees. He huffed and wheezed as thoughts whirled about in his head. It had felt too good. The idea that he might actually be gay had frightened him to a point that he had had to flee. Gabe looked down at his dirt-stained arm and viciously slid his nails down it, making it trickle of scarlet. He stared at it with great contempt as he tried to block out any additionnal thought. "Cold feet," he could hear his dad say. But it wasn't cold feet - it couldn't be - it was fear of something so large he couldnt grasp it.

Subject: Re: Me neither. Fri Sep 07, 2007 11:00 pm

When the thought hit him that Gabe wouldn't come back, after what might have been three or four minutes that seemed like an eternity, William stood up, grabbed his jeans and put them on. "I'll tell everyone. I'll ruin his life and tell Chicago how Gabe Saporta likes it up the ass," he muttered. Of course, he hadn't meant a word of it. He'd never purposedly harm Gabe, no matter how broken he felt. He walked up to the nearest tree and leaned on it. "And that asshole had to leave with everything I could have smoked."

Subject: Re: Me neither. Fri Sep 07, 2007 11:05 pm

Gabe let himself fall to the ground in the dry leaves that shielded him from the moist dirt underneath. Questions started to ramble through his head like an untamed wave: why did he feel so afraid? What was he running from? Am I gay? Rubbing his face harshly with both hands, Gabe took a deep breath. "ALEX!" he yelled at the top of his lungs. It was the first thing that had comed to mind. "William," he muttered.

Subject: Re: Me neither. Fri Sep 07, 2007 11:13 pm

William had heard. William had heard and was determined to spend the next minute convincing himself that he in fact hadn't heard anything. Sixty seconds later, however, it seemed even clearer in his mind. "Alex," he repeated. He was tempted to laugh, but did nothing. "I knew I couldn't compete." He took a step forward, questioning himself on what he was about to do. I could at least tell him I'm alright with it. Maybe he'll realize I'm incredibly nice and caring and comprehensive and the best he can get...for now. He frowned at his own thoughts and wandered into the forest.

Subject: Re: Me neither. Fri Sep 07, 2007 11:31 pm

His vision blurred with what must have been tears, Gabe let his face be buried into the leaves. He felt one poking up his nostril but didn't move. He didn't know what to do - he was alone. In these kinds of situations, Gabe would just run to Alex for comfort. And advice. For all I know now, he's dead. He flinched at the thought. He was alone: no Alex, no William. No one. He stayed still for several minutes until he felt himself drift into shaky slumber.

Subject: Re: Me neither. Fri Sep 07, 2007 11:37 pm

William found Gabe curled up on the ground. From experience, he knew the man didn't think waking up next to him after a quarrell was especially pleasant. "Hey," he whispered as he sat down, wondering if the man would hear. How can I be mad at him? I just can't. He must be sad, too. He's not a bad man. He waited to see if Gabe would move.

Subject: Re: Me neither. Fri Sep 07, 2007 11:50 pm

The leaves rustled as Gabe fidgeted in his sleep. His arms were wrapped around himself; he was biting his lip. The blood on his left arm had dried out, as it did on his right hand and nails. His mouth was slightly open, revealing only the smallest bit of his teeth.

Subject: Re: Me neither. Fri Sep 07, 2007 11:52 pm

It was only then that William noticed the blood on Gabe's arm. "You're hurt," he whispered, more to himself than to the sleeping man. He brushed his fingers over the dark red stains.

Subject: Re: Me neither. Sat Sep 08, 2007 12:03 am

A leaf went flying as Gabe sobbed silently in his sleep. His breath blew several other leaves in the air; one of them fell onto his ear. He drew his arms against his chest very tightly, unconsciously grabbing a few leaves and bringing them close to himself.