Please find me

Subject: Re: Please find me Fri Jul 20, 2007 6:01 pm

It was true. As much as he didn't want to admit it, the Butcher was exactly right, and it crushed his heart. "I'm sorry," he sounded defeated because he knew nothing he could do could make up for his actions. "I still love you, whatever you decide." He didn't want to add 'even if you don't choose me'.

Number of posts : 182 Registration date : 2007-07-19

He didn't know what to do. He wanted Sisky, he'd wanted him for a very long time, but he'd slept with Bill. Things couldn't really be the same now that Bill'd had him before he'd been able to do much more than kissing him in the past. "Well, thanks for the sorry." He said with a small exhale.

Subject: Re: Please find me Fri Jul 20, 2007 6:12 pm

"I know it's not enough." Sisky sniffed and wiped his face on his arm. "Will it help if I say there was pot involved?" He hoped the Butcher would believe him and even if he didn't he could show the proof.

Number of posts : 182 Registration date : 2007-07-19

Butcher laughed and shook his head, looking down to the floor with a smile on his lips, not wanting to let Sisky see the smile as he turned around. He was afraid he that if he smiled he would loose Sisky's willingness to hold onto this moment. "Well that is alright then." He said, biting his teeth together not to smile, but not wanting to sound angry either.

Subject: Re: Please find me Fri Jul 20, 2007 6:29 pm

"I guess it's not," Sisky took a step towards Butcher. "What are you going to do?"

Number of posts : 182 Registration date : 2007-07-19

Butcher stayed still, not wanting to step back and have Sisky think that he was really that mad at him. "I don't know little Santi." He said with a slightly despressed voice, he at least had to be honest.

Subject: Re: Please find me Fri Jul 20, 2007 9:00 pm

"Butcher, please. I'll promise you anything," Sisky got down on his knees and wrapped his arms around Butcher's hips. "Please don't leave me."

Number of posts : 182 Registration date : 2007-07-19

Butcher closed his eyes and sighed softly, his hand placed on Sisky's shoulders, "I couldn't leave, you're like my best friend."

Subject: Re: Please find me Sat Jul 21, 2007 11:02 am

"I want to be more than that," Sisky mumbled into the Butcher's stomach. "But I'm okay with best friends."

Number of posts : 182 Registration date : 2007-07-19

The feeling against his stomach made Butcher sigh contentedly before he smiled. "I know you do, and I do to but ..." He trailed off, not sure how to end that comment.

Subject: Re: Please find me Sat Jul 21, 2007 7:11 pm

"But you can't trust me?" Sisky tried. He tightened his hold around the Butcher's hips franically. He'd do anything to get that trust back. Anything...

Number of posts : 182 Registration date : 2007-07-19

Butcher hung his head a little, not quite looking at Sisky but not exactly avoiding him either. "I just didn't think it would be Bill."

Subject: Re: Please find me Sat Jul 21, 2007 7:22 pm

"You wanted it to be you." Sisky decided to just shut up. He was only digging a deeper hole for himself.

I wanted it to be you too. God.. What have I done?

Number of posts : 182 Registration date : 2007-07-19

He put his hands on the top of Sisky's head and stroked his fingers lightly through it as he tried to tilt the other boys head up slightly. "Me too." He said with a slight sadness to his voice as he attempted to move out of ~~his~~ boy's grip.

Subject: Re: Please find me Sat Jul 21, 2007 7:42 pm

Sisky smiled slightly and let the older man retreat from his arms. He stared up at Butcher wondering what he was going to do.

Number of posts : 182 Registration date : 2007-07-19

What am I doing? Am I really just going to waste my chance?

Butcher looked up for a moment, unsure what he wanted to say or do to try and make this less awkward for them but was finding hard to decide on what to do or say - a very strange experience for him. "I just want to be home, where none of this happened." He added wishfully.

Subject: Re: Please find me Sat Jul 21, 2007 8:43 pm

"Me too," Sisky nodded, sure that if they had never crashlanded here he never would have done what he did. He would have waited for the Butcher like he wanted to, like he was meant to.

Number of posts : 182 Registration date : 2007-07-19

The Butcher smiled a little, at least glad for a moment that it really did sound as thought Sisky was being honest.

Maybe I should just foget it. It was only once.

"Sisky?" He asked with a small cough to clear his throat, "Can't we just kind of ... pretend?"

Subject: Re: Please find me Sat Jul 21, 2007 8:53 pm

"It never happened?" Sisky smiled hopefully and stood up.

I'm pretty sure William is kicking himself too right now. He was already with someone. Wait... what if he was just using me after all? No wonder he wanted it to be a big secret.

Number of posts : 182 Registration date : 2007-07-19

"None of it, can't we just pretend we're back at home?" Butcher requeted, a slight pathetic hint to his voice that would not normally be aired to anyone but himself.

Subject: Re: Please find me Sat Jul 21, 2007 9:11 pm

"It's just a hot day," Sisky skipped a little closer to Butcher. His eyes were shining and a mischevious grin started forming on his lips.

Number of posts : 182 Registration date : 2007-07-19

Butcher moved a little closer, his feet dragging on the floor as he keep his eyes locked with Sisky's. "And we're just taking a break from playing."

Subject: Re: Please find me Sat Jul 21, 2007 9:23 pm

"Breaks are good," Sisky said dumbly, feeling himself melt under the Butcher's gaze.

Number of posts : 182 Registration date : 2007-07-19

He reached out and touched his hand to Sisky's shoulder, pulling him back to their close position from before. "And I've just told you what I've been avoiding telling you for months."

Subject: Re: Please find me Sat Jul 21, 2007 9:26 pm

"You love me, and I love you," Sisky wrapped his arms back around Butcher with a little sigh of happiness.