Thomas Alfred Conrad. The Man, The Myth, The Legend.

Number of posts : 1888 Age : 40 Registration date : 2007-06-25

"The tests have proved positive, Mr Conrad." The words rang in Tom's ears. He put his hands over them and screwed up his eyes, as though by blocking the sound; the sight, he could block out everything; turn back time.

I'm not crazy. I'm not!

"Tom? Conrad, are you even listening to me?" Mikey waved a hand in front of his face. Tom rubbed his eyes and gave him an absent smile. "You're spacing out on us. Bored?" He shrugged.
"Just not in the mood tonight." He finished his beer. His first beer. His only beer. He shouldn't have it. But he was. "Tell Harrison and the rest of the guys I said hi." He grabbed his coat and walked out.

I'm not.

...Am I?

Number of posts : 1888 Age : 40 Registration date : 2007-06-25

"You ok?" Jon placed a hand on his shoulder. Tom nodded, smiling. He held tighter onto the chair in front of him and bobbed aimlessly to the music. "Hey up! The band's arrived!" A girl looking very displeased stormed into a nearby house, shooting a poisonous glare at Mikey, who was filling in the shoes of a support band, with a little help from Nick. They played one last song (Brown Eyed Girl) and departed, putting on a CD for the crowd to dance to instead. Tom shouted with laughter as he recognised it. Suddenly, his stomach clenched. "Tom?"
"I'm going home." He whispered forlornly.

Number of posts : 1888 Age : 40 Registration date : 2007-06-25

"You're worse than Sisky." Tom lazily leant over and poked Mike's stomach in response.
"My hair isn't that curly!" He protested, shifting back into his original position. "Man, I'm beat. Is Butch's guitarist coming to talk, or is he just going to hide in the kitchen?" He raised his voice slightly and Michael appeared from behind the fridge. "Talk. Hey there." Mike laughed quietly.
"You truly have a wonderful bedside manner." He teased. "You were brilliant at being a hotel receptionist, weren't you?"
"What?" Tom blinked. "'Hello, welcome to the Delamere, how the fuck may I help you? Do you want arsenic with that, sir?"

Number of posts : 1888 Age : 40 Registration date : 2007-06-25

"See you tomorrow, Tom!" He waved to Mike and shouldered his bag, plodding down the dark streets. Muse blared through his headphones as he turned the corner, not seeing the dark shadow following him. Suddenly, he was grabbed from behind and the headphones ripped out. Tom jerked his head, staring at his attacker in confusion.

"Money." The man hissed, brandishing his gun. Tom reached into his jeans pocket and pulled out his wallet. "Put it on the floor." He bent down slowly and placed the leather object on the wet paving stones. He was uncomfortably aware of the man's lust filled gaze on his back. "Jewellery?" Tom undid the necklace he was wearing and put that inside the wallet. He straightened up again, eyes on the gun. "And the other thing." He touched his nose ring uncertainly.

"I can't take it out without a mirror." He said, his hands shaking. The man snarled and stepped forward. He hooked his finger in it and tore it out of Tom's nose. The guitarist bit back a cry of pain. The man picked up the wallet, focusing the gun on Tom. He began to back away, finger on the trigger. He turned to go and Tom leapt for him, clawing at his eyes. He was shaken off easily.

"You shouldn't have done that." The alleyway was dark. There was no one around. Tom was forced back onto the floor.

I shouldn't have. I really shouldn't have.

Number of posts : 1888 Age : 40 Registration date : 2007-06-25

"Close your eyes." Mikey whispered in his ear. Nick covered Tom's eyes as the singer placed something in Tom's outstretched palms.
"Puppy!" Tom squealed when Nick moved his hands. The unnamed creature stared at him adoringly, clambering onto his neck. Tom snuggled it quietly.
"Your psychiatrist says that the pup might be able to bring you down from mania." Mikey told him, smiling fondly.
"Where's Jon?" Tom asked, burying his face in the puppy's fur.
"...At the cabin." Nick said after a pause. The guitarist froze.
So they are more important to him than us.

Number of posts : 1888 Age : 40 Registration date : 2007-06-25

"Complete that sentence and I'll kill you!" Tom threatened, brandishing his table tennis bat. His teenaged friend burst out laughing. "Naughty corner!" The blonde teenager grabbed Mikey's arm and marched him to one of the corners of the room.
"Fish!" Mikey squealed, giggling. "FISH!"

Number of posts : 1888 Age : 40 Registration date : 2007-06-25

“We, the jury, find Michael Russell guilty of Grievous Bodily Harm and Gross Neglect of one Thomas Alfred Conrad.” Mikey’s eyes widened as the verdict was read out. The blonde stared down at his shaking hands as he was led away. “We sentence Mr Russell to a minimum of seven years in jail.” Tom stared at his friend with tear filled eyes, before allowing himself to be helped into the car.

The car that would take him to the institution.

-

He stared blankly around the room, grey eyes taking in everything about it. How empty and bare it was. He tested the bed. Hard. Very hard. That was about it for furniture. Padded walls, and a rock hard bed. He gave a bitter laugh.

Tom turned around suddenly to see the warden staring at him. He raised an eyebrow, staring back. This evidently didn’t please the warden, who walked further into the room.

“Don’t look at me like that.” He growled, slamming Tom against the wall. The blonde inhaled sharply. “You have no right to look at me like that, you freak!”

“I’m not a freak.” Tom replied as the other man gripped his hair tightly. He gasped as it was pulled.

“I demand respect!” The guitarist gave him an incredulous look, before realising what a big mistake he’d made. The warden slammed his fist into Tom’s stomach, making him double up with a groan. He pushed him onto the floor. “Freak.” He snarled, laughing. He pulled him up onto his knees and unzipped his trousers, forcing himself into the twenty two year old’s mouth. Tom gagged.

Number of posts : 1888 Age : 40 Registration date : 2007-06-25

"Tom!" Nick gasped as the younger man walked in. Tom had lost weight. He looked so much thinner. His blonde hair didn't have the sparkle it usually did; his eyes were blank. Nick enveloped his friend in a hug.

"Thanks for coming." Tom whispered in his ear. "I hate it here. I hate it!" Nick swallowed down the lump in his throat, mumuring soothing words. "How's Mikey?"

"Been better." The drummer pushed back his blonde hair. "But he's ok. He's tough, is our Mikey." The younger man nodded, tears in his eyes.

"I'm not."

-

Tom hid his face, shoulders shaking. I will not cry. I will not cry! He wasn't going to give the warden that satisfaction. Naked, bloodstained and bruised, Tom still had dignity left.

This is just like the alley incident... but a hundred times worse.

He bit back a whimper as the warden entered again. Entered him. He closed his eyes and blocked it out. He could do that now.

Number of posts : 1888 Age : 40 Registration date : 2007-06-25

"Mikey!" Tom's shout was cut off when he flew at his friend, clinging to him tightly. The singer swept him off his feet, arms wrapped around his formerly stocky body. "But I thought - You - Jail..."

"New evidence." Mikey smirked, eyes passing worriedly over his thin body. "Suspended sentence whilst they sort it out." The blonde nodded, showing he was following. "You look bad."

"I hate it here, Mikey." Tom whispered. "Please take me home."

Mikey just looked at him. His brown eyes stared into Tom's grey ones, trying to find an answer. His mouth tightened.

"Let's get you home. Where you belong."

Number of posts : 1888 Age : 40 Registration date : 2007-06-25

"Wait... Sammy?" Tom raised an eyebrow. "As in Sammy Del Real? He's your new drummer? He replaced Harrison?"

"Uhh... yeah. Do you know him?" His friend looked up from his guitar.

"Sammy Del Real was one of my best friends at school!" The blonde laughed. "Oh my god!"

"Still don't see why you didn't get me to do it." Nick huffed, rumpling Tom's newly washed curls. The younger man batted at his hands.

"Because we're not 504 anymore, and if I put you in, then people would start making comparisons." Mikey sighed, gently strumming the guitar.

"Couldn't be 504 Plan without me." Tom huffed. "Cause, y'know. I was the sexy one."

Nick and Mikey didn't answer.

Number of posts : 1888 Age : 40 Registration date : 2007-06-25

"William? William, for God's sake, pick up!" Tom yelled into the phone, before slamming it back into its cradle. This wasn't the first time he'd tried to ring the other man. I need to know what happened.

Suddenly, the phone began to ring, and he snatched it up. "Tom Conrad, answer."

"Is that how you normally answer the phone?" William asked, his voice bringing a little of the Southern California sunshine into the Windy City.

"Whoa, you don't get to joke around, Tell." The blonde snapped, falling back into his chair. "Seriously? Just what went down between you and Andrew to make this happen?"

"Nothing!" The Orange County native protested. "My music... I just wanted to try something different. They're fine with it, honest." His friend 'hmmed' noncomittally down the phone. "I have some seriously good stuff here, Tombo. You should hear it."

"Book me a flight into the sunshine then." Tom stifled a yawn. "Do me good to get out of here."

Number of posts : 1888 Age : 40 Registration date : 2007-06-25

You're gonna need a bodybag,
I'll break bones you didn't know you had.
When I'm done there will be nothing left of you
for your friends to hold on to
when they find you cold and blue tonight,
face down in a parking lot.

"Cheerful." Mikey remarked, hearing the song blasting out from Tom's speakers. "Do you have to pay extra to listen to happy stuff?"

Tom shot him a look. "Maybe I don't want to listen to happy stuff." He said calmly, leaning his chin in his hands. "I happen to like this song."

"It sounds like Barney on drugs." The singer smirked, settling down beside him. He gently toyed with Tom's blonde hair, kissing the top of the younger man's head. Tom rolled into his embrace, breathing in Mikey's musky smell. "We found some of the stuff you chucked out earlier."

"It sucked." Tom mumbled into Mikey's chest. "I haven't written in ages, and it showed." He waited to hear his friend's reply.

"Oh, I don't know. I liked it."

Number of posts : 1888 Age : 40 Registration date : 2007-06-25

"Oh my God..." Tom stared at the girl in front of him. She wiped her eyes. "Six months? Six months? Do you have any idea how many people I've slept with in six months?" He raised a hand. "Don't even answer that, you slut."

"Pot kettle black!" She snapped. "Look, I wasn't exactly expecting it either. Y'know, it wasn't in my life plan to get fucking AIDS!"

"Get out." The blonde snarled, pointing to the door. "Get out, and I hope you die of it." She slapped him and stormed out, slamming the door shut behind her.

Tom ran to the bathroom, unscrewing his bottle of tablets and swallowing several. He locked the door and sank to the floor, holding his head in his hands. AIDS... He whimpered, tears coming to his eyes. Fuck! Mikey!

There was a gentle tapping at the door. "Tom, if you're going to lock yourself away," Mikey said in a gentle voice. "Could you do it in your room?" The words reminded Tom exactly why he shouldn't be in here. He staggered upright and opened the cabinet, picking up a razor.

"Thanks for reminding me." He whispered.

The battering on the door increased."Tom? TOM!"

Number of posts : 1888 Age : 40 Registration date : 2007-06-25

Mikey was silent as he gently bandaged up Tom's wrist. Nick's worried brown eyes watched them as he sat on the couch.

"AIDS." The youngest whispered, drawing his knees up. "No... No!"

"Tom, to be honest, I'm surprised you didn't catch anything - or be threatened with it - sooner." The drummer pulled him onto the couch, toying with his soft hair.

"You might not have it." Mikey pointed out, sitting down next to them. "You need to get checked out."

He listened to their reassurances in silence. This is going to change everything.

» Tom Conrad
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