Respecting your decision, even in my dreams

"I'm sorry, little santi," Butcher said softly and kissed him on the forehead. "I'm just not ready yet."

What are you afraid of? If it's hurting me then I know you couldn't do that. Tell you the truth, I'm a little scared too. I don't want to mess things up with you. Maybe it's better this way. "I'm okay, Butcher. We don't have to have sex just let me sleep near you please? I need you to hold me."

"I don't know... We might be tempted to... you know," Butcher shifted to get a better look of Sisky.

"Please?" Adam begged, eyes tearing up. "I need to be close to you."

"I didn't mean to push you away, Siska. This is hard for me too," Butcher pulled his little lover close to his chest and lay back down. "I'm not ready yet."

"I know. I'll wait for you. Just please never leave me," Adam snuggled his face into the Butcher's bare skin.

"I never left."

Sisky opened his mouth to reply and found his arms were empty. He curled into a ball and sobbed quietly. I'll wait for you. I promise I'll wait for you as long as it takes.